I had a better night's sleep last night. I think I was tired out from my visits with friends on Friday night and yesterday. I did stay up and watch Road House starring Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliott. I love Sam Elliott's voice and I always enjoy watching this movie. It finished about 11:30 last night and I think that helped me sleep through most of the night.
This morning I was tired and not very hungry. However, hubby made me scrambled eggs and some hash browns which I ate with a piece of toast and some marmalade. Then I had some peaches with honey which is a throwback to my childhood. I love the taste of honey and peaches together. After this breakfast, I had some major anxiety about the upcoming chemo and various tests and drugs leading up to the stem cell transplant. I am terrified of my chemo this Friday and next Friday. I'm also terrified of the "high dose chemo" that I will be undergoing towards the end of October. I know I have to go through all this in order to do the stem cell transplant but just the thought of it all and I start to feel nauseous and go off my food. This morning there were some tears, some anger and just trying to settle myself and pull myself out of the funk. I continue to work on my knitted afghan to help ease the anxiety. The knitting portion is finished. I'm just adding the tassels along the edge. Once the afghan is completely done, I'll start knitting some socks to give to the homeless. I may also make some mitts and hats to give as well. I find the rhythm of knitting soothing and also following a pattern helps keep my mind busy. If it is busy following a pattern, then it can't consume itself with thoughts of the upcoming ordeal.
The weather continues to be summer like and hot, sunny and dry. This afternoon, we hopped into the car and drove to a friend's cottage to spend the afternoon. What a lovely visit we had but, again, I tired quickly and by 4:30 we were on the road to return home. There's nothing like the calm lake lapping against the shore and the chatter of good friends to calm my fears. By the time we came home I was much more settled and back to being myself.
On the ride home, my arm was really itchy where the picc line insertion is. I lifted the gauze wrap and saw some leakage that looked like there may be an infection at the site of the picc line going into my arm. I wasn't overly worried yet as I wasn't running a fever. Once we got back into the city, hubby took me to the CBI Health Clinic where I go to have my picc line cleaned each week. I was just there on Friday. The clinic was actually closed but not locked and one of the nurses was there. I opened the door and walked in and told her what I saw. She had me go into the examination room and unwrapped the gauze wrap. She immediately saw the leakage I had seen. It wasn't an infection but an allergic reaction on my skin from the adhesive on the transparent bandage. My skin had blistered and then the blister broke open and wept. The nurse put some medicated cream onto my skin and then rebandaged the site with a gauze pad and then the small adhesive square bandage. None of the adhesive is now touching my skin. Hopefully it will all heal up well. It's still very itchy tonight.
Tomorrow is another busy day full of appointments and errands. I continue to try to live each day to the absolute fullest especially while I'm feeling good. I would normally start my third round of chemo tomorrow but the schedule has changed since my file was passed over to the stem cell doctor. She is the one that makes the decisions regarding my schedule now. I will have my third round of chemo on Friday. So I'm trying to enjoy these last few days this week as much as I can.
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