3 Month Check Up and Worry

Oh what we do to ourselves by worrying! What a useless waste of energy! I know this and I still worried yesterday. While waiting in the waiting room, I was full of nervous energy. Either my fingers or hands or legs were tapping unendingly. I just could not settle as I awaited my appointment and the results of the January CT scan and yesterday's blood work.

Finally I saw my doctor. He was full of smiles and good news. He's very pleased with the CT scan. Although the 3 lymph nodes are still slightly enlarged he was encouraging. The enlarged lymph nodes could just be scar tissue or there could be lymphoma still there. He can't say for sure. So we take a wait and see approach. However, my blood work is all in the normal range. After asking me about my energy and activity levels, he again was full of smiles and reassurance. He's very pleased with where I'm at. When I mentioned that I get impatient with myself and unhappy with what I can't do, he smiled and said that I have to realize that I'm still in recovery mode and that I need to realize that it will take another 3 months of progress before I level off to the "new normal". I mentioned to him that I do not accept the status quo and that each day or week I want to do more. I want to be stronger. I want to be active longer and have less rest days. I want to get back to the energy I had before this last bout of lymphoma. I get impatient when I have to rest a full day or two after brisk activity. My hubby was smirking as he is the one to witness my attempts to push the limits. My doctor's response was that my determination and positive attitude will make the difference to how well I recover and may help keep the lymphoma in remission longer.

Overall, he is very pleased with me and it was reassuring to me to see him smile at the appointment. As I left the appointment, I had a smile on my face that I couldn't erase. I felt like a load was lifted off my shoulders. I felt happy and relieved. So onwards and upwards I continue to go. It snowed yesterday so today after I meet with some friends to do some singing, I will come home and shovel the driveway. It's is heavier snow so I'll see whether I can shovel the full driveway before having to rest. I have all afternoon to work at it.

Since I'm not working, my new job is to work on getting stronger each and every day. Walk, shovel, clean, cook or whatever can keep me moving and getting stronger.